不用言語所說的事—THE THINGS WE SAY WITHOUT USING WORDS
思想 / 討論題目
你是否知道有很高比例的正式溝通都用非言語的方式，甚至不必說一句話？這個事實對你有何意義－－不論在社交或工作場合？ 想出一些你每天觀察到的非言語溝通方式。你認為這些方式會加強或減低它們所傳達的訊息？ 每天的工作中，你是否言行如一？你認為自己需要做什麼改變，以確保自己的非言語溝通方式（行為）與你所說的不牴觸？ 你是否同意聖經新約提摩太前書3章1-8節所定的高標準？為什麼？（將段經文與提多書2章1-8節作比較）。註：若你有聖經且想要看有關此主題的其他經文，請看：
THE THINGS WE SAY WITHOUT USING WORDS
By: Robert J. Tamasy
A key principle we discuss in the college course I teach on business communications is only seven percent of all communication is verbal. The remaining 93 percent is non-verbal, including eye contact, facial expressions, body language, hand movements and voice tones.
Even the way we arrange furniture in our offices speaks volumes about us. As the adage reminds us, “Actions speak louder than words.”
Max DePree, a noted author and accomplished business executive, commented on this truth when he said, “Whether leaders articulate a personal philosophy or not, their behavior surely expresses a personal set of values and beliefs. The way we build and hold our relationships, the physical settings we produce, the products and services our organizations provide, the way in which we communicate – all of these things reveal who we are.”
For decades it has been a common practice for companies to draft mission and vision statements to put their goals, expectations and values in writing. Too often, however, these documents are printed, distributed, and then conveniently filed in a drawer and forgotten. Two businesses I have been consulting with, however, have not only adopted clear-cut mission, vision and values statements, but the leaders also have chosen to display them prominently on their walls as continual reminders to their employees – and themselves.
But even more important than placing these statements in plain sight is the fact that these leadership teams insist on carrying out the principles and values they profess. As I have talked with employees, former staff members and customers, all have confirmed that these companies actively and aggressively strive to live their convictions.
This impresses me because, as another adage affirms, “Talk is cheap.” It is easy to say you believe something, but much harder to back it up with our actions – especially when compromise would seem more expedient. The Bible has many passages that address the importance of aligning our words and actions. Here are examples:
Our words – good and bad – will be communicated to others. Under the stress and duress of deadlines and everyday business pressures, it is easy to speak in haste, as well as in anger. We should learn to measure our words and use them with discretion, realizing what we say as leaders will be passed along to other people. “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Timothy 2:2).
If we are effective leaders, those who follow us will emulate both our words and our actions. Like it or not, we are being watched. We are setting an example for others to follow. The excuse, “Do as I say, not as I do,” is completely invalid for those in leadership. “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put into practice” (Philippians 4:9).
Aspiring to leadership involves being able to meet high standards and qualifications. The Bible establishes standards for leaders in the church, but the same principles for exemplary behavior can be applied to those in the business and professional world. “…If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach…temperate, self-controlled, respectable…” (1 Timothy 3:1-8).
If you want to be a leader, you have an obligation to make certain that your “walk equals your talk.”
Robert J. Tamasy is vice president of communications for Leaders Legacy, Inc., a non-profit corporation based in Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A. A veteran of 38 years in professional journalism, he is the author of Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today”s Workplace and has coauthored with David A. Stoddard, The Heart of Mentoring: 10 Proven Principles for Developing People to Their Fullest Potential. For more information, see www.leaderslegacy.com or www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com.
1. Were you aware that such a high percentage of formal communication occurs non-verbally, even without words being exchanged? What is the significance of this reality for you – regardless of the social or professional setting?
2. Think of examples of non-verbal communication that you observe or practice on a daily basis. When you think of these, do they enhance or detract from the messages being communicated?
3. How well do you think your words and actions align during a typical work day? What changes, if any, do you think you might need to make to ensure that your non-verbal communication does not contradict what you say?
4. Do you agree with the high standards of standards presented in 1 Timothy 1:3-8 of the Bible”s New Testament? Why or why not? (Compare that passage with Titus 2:1-8.)
NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to review some other passages that relate to this topic, consider the following verses: Genesis 39:2-6; Joshua 1:6-9; Proverbs 13:16; Matthew 4:18-22; Titus 1:6-9
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