我們是否會因在職場中沒說實話而感到內疚？──ARE WE ALL GUILTY OF NOT TELLING THE TRUTH AT WORK?
工作職場何時能夠恢復正常，或者是否真的能回歸正常，是很難確定的。隨著疫情必須執行管制措施，許多人即使有工作，也都是在家工作。有人發現「居家職場」成為一個吸引人的改變：人們能花更多的時間陪伴家人。
然而，這種「新常態」的傷害之一就是人與人之間，直接的互動減少了。 Zoom、Skype、FaceTime 等創新科技雖然幫助填補了一些空白，但沒有什麼可以替代那些自然發生的面對面，眼神的交流，或在同事的座位區停下來比對工作的筆記，甚至只是開開玩笑的一些時刻。
有些時侯，當遇到某人僅僅說「嗨！你好嗎？」，相互微笑，然後繼續走到要去的地方。這是一種慣常的、友好的交流，但也往往是膚淺的，沒有意思要交換任何真實信息的。這也許這就是已故作家和社運人士瑪雅·安傑洛 (Maya Angelou) 寫道的：「當人們問『你好嗎？』有時你應該有勇氣的真實回答。 」
想一想，當人們問你說：「哈囉，你好嗎？」你多常會認真地回答他們，並誠實地訴說你的情況呢？或者角色互換，如果有人開始告訴你他們的掙扎、痛苦或挫折，你會如何反應呢？
我們可能會給自己一個理由：「嗯…，我只是出於禮貌在打聲招呼，但並不真的想要知道某人過得怎麼樣嘛」。我很清楚地記得自己有一次參加會議的時候，我就曾經為此感到內疚，當時遇到好久不見的朋友，我說：「嗨！彼得…你好嗎？」但當那個彼得真的回答我的問題時，我卻感到非常錯愕。相反地，有時人們也對我講同樣的話，但他們的肢體語言告訴我，他們並不是真的想知道我的情況。
有一首我聽過很多次的歌曲描述了這個問題，這位歌手觀察到：「實話說，很少有人說實話。」我們會用微笑來掩飾我們可能正在處理的悲傷、恐懼或痛苦。我們會回應：「我很好。」(即使我們不是)。當然，我們不能總是花時間傾聽別人的問題或分享自己的問題，但我們難道不應該花多一點的時間去了解人們人性的一面，更高過於最後期限、目標和盈虧嗎？
這是聖經中反覆出現的主題，強調彼此提供安慰同情的重要性，尤其是我們在經常掙扎的「日常生活」中，例如，哥林多後書 1章3-4節 說：「願頌讚歸與我們的主耶穌基督的父 神，…我們在一切患難中，他就安慰我們，叫我們能用 神所賜的安慰去安慰那遭各樣患難的人」。也許我們之所以會遇到困境的原因之一就是：我們能夠同理那些面臨類似挑戰的人。
另一段經文提出了這樣的勸告：「又要彼此相顧，激發愛心，勉勵行善。你們不可停止聚會，好像那些停止慣了的人，倒要彼此勸勉…。」（希伯來書10章24-25節）。
也許當疫情結束，再次回到熟悉的辦公室日常時，我們應該在有人問「你好嗎? 」的時候，更努力一點的真實回答，或者我們也能主動問他們「你好嗎？」
© 2021. Robert J. Tamasy 是企業巔峰: 給今日職場從箴言而來永恆的智慧 一書的作者。也與導師之的作者David A. Stoddard 合著Tufting Legacies。編輯多本著作包括Mike Landry. Bob的書: 透過苦難成長。Mike Landry. Bob的網站為www.bobtamasy-readywriterink.com,
備註：如果你手上有聖經想閱讀更多內容，請考慮以下經文（因篇幅有限，請參閱未列出的經文哥林多前書15:58、哥林多前書1:8-11）：
馬太福音 5章1-9節
5:1 耶穌看見這許多的人，就上了山，既已坐下，門徒到他跟前來，
5:2 他就開口教訓他們，說：
5:3 虛心的人有福了！因為天國是他們的。
5:4 哀慟的人有福了！因為他們必得安慰。
5:5 溫柔的人有福了！因為他們必承受地土。
5:6 飢渴慕義的人有福了！因為他們必得飽足。
5:7 憐恤人的人有福了！因為他們必蒙憐恤。
5:8 清心的人有福了！因為他們必得見 神。
5:9 使人和睦的人有福了！因為他們必稱為 神的兒子。
哥林多後書 1章5-7節
1:5 我們既多受基督的苦楚，就靠基督多得安慰。
1:6 我們受患難呢，是為叫你們得安慰，得拯救；我們得安慰呢，也是為叫你們得安慰；這安慰能叫你們忍受我們所受的那樣苦楚。
1:7 我們為你們所存的盼望是確定的，因為知道你們既是同受苦楚，也必同得安慰。
加拉太書 6章9-10節
6:9 我們行善，不可喪志；若不灰心，到了時候就要收成。
6:10 所以，有了機會就當向眾人行善，向信徒一家的人更當這樣。
腓立比書 1章3-8節
1:3 我每逢想念你們，就感謝我的 神；
1:4 每逢為你們眾人祈求的時候，常是歡歡喜喜地祈求。
1:5 因為從頭一天直到如今，你們是同心合意地興旺福音。
1:6 我深信那在你們心裏動了善工的，必成全這工，直到耶穌基督的日子。
1:7 我為你們眾人有這樣的意念，原是應當的；因你們常在我心裏，無論我是在捆鎖之中，是辯明證實福音的時候，你們都與我一同得恩。
1:8 我體會基督耶穌的心腸，切切地想念你們眾人；這是 神可以給我作見證的。
反省與問題討論
- 疫情的管制措施如何影響你的日常工作？你是否想念能夠直接、面對面地和同事或同儕互動呢？對你來說那曾經是怎樣的經驗？
- 當你看到某人說「嗨，你好嗎？」，你通常如何回應？而你隨口對人說這話時也只是一個禮貌的問候，而不是一個真誠的問題嗎？
- 你覺得為什麼我們當中很多人，很難真誠和開放地與他人交流我們在生活和工作中的真實狀況呢？通常只輕率地回答「我很好。」而我們其實一點也不好。
- 我們可以或應該採取什麼措施，在我們的工作場所更加關注和鼓勵他人呢?尤其是當我們有更多的機會面對面，而不是通過電腦或智慧型手機螢幕互動時。我們如何在工作職責和鼓勵同事之間，保持正確的平衡呢？
RACING FOR THE GOLD – BUT IS IT THE RIGHT RACE?
By Robert J. Tamasy
When the workplace will return to normal – or if it ever will – is impossible to tell. As pandemic restrictions were put into place, many people found themselves working from home. That is, if they were working at all. Some found the “home-based marketplace” an appealing change: spending more time with family.
One casualty of this “new normal,” however, has been a decline in direct, person-to-person interactions. Technological innovations like Zoom, Skype, FaceTime and others have helped fill the gap, but there is no substitute for spontaneous face-to-face, eye-to-eye communication – stopping by a colleague’s workspace to compare notes on a project, or simply to exchange pleasantries.
Sometimes that involves only encountering someone and saying “Hi! How are you?”, exchanging smiles and continuing to wherever we are heading. That is a customary, cordial exchange, but too often it is superficial, not intended to trade any real information. Maybe that is why the late writer and activist Maya Angelou wrote, “When people ask, ‘How are you?’ have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully.”
Think about it: When people say, “Hello, how are you?” how often do you make the effort to answer them, explaining honestly how you are? Or reversing roles, how would you react if someone began to tell you about their struggles or pain or frustrations?
We might offer the excuse, “Well, I’m just being polite. I’m saying hello, but don’t really want to know how someone is doing.” I have been guilty of that myself, remembering vividly a time when I was attending a conference. Encountering a friend I had not seen in a long time, I said, “Hi, (Pete)! How are you?” but was stunned when “Pete” began to respond to my question. Then there have been times when people have said the same to me, but their body language told me they did not really want to know how I was.
A song I have heard many times addresses this. As the vocalist observes, “Truth be told, the truth is rarely told.” We put on smiles that mask sadness or fear or pain we might be dealing with. We respond, “I’m doing fine” – even when we’re not. Granted, we cannot always take the time to listen to someone’s problems or share our own, but shouldn’t we do more to recognize the human side of work – beyond the deadlines, goals, and bottom-line considerations?
This is a recurring theme in the Scriptures, underscoring the importance of offering compassion to one another in this daily struggle we call everyday life. For instance, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” Perhaps one reason for the adversities we confront is so we can empathize with others facing similar challenges.
Another passage offers this exhortation: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…” (Hebrews 10:24-25).
When – and if – we resume the familiar office work routines, maybe we should try a bit harder to respond truthfully when someone asks, or if we ask them, “How are you?”
© 2021. Robert J. Tamasy has written Marketplace Ambassadors: CBMC’s Continuing Legacy of Evangelism and Discipleship; Business at Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace; Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart, coauthored with Ken Johnson; andThe Heart of Mentoring, coauthored with David A. Stoddard. Bob’s biweekly blog is: www.bobtamasy.blogspot.com.
Reflection/Discussion Questions
- How have pandemic restrictions affected your usual work routine? Have you missed being able to interact directly, in person, with coworkers and colleagues? What has that been like for you?
- When you see someone and they say, “Hello, how are you?”, how do you typically respond? Do you casually say that to others, simply as a polite greeting rather than a sincere question?
- Why do you think it is so difficult for many of us to be genuine and open in communicating with others how we are truly doing in our lives and work, rather than flippantly responding that we are doing well – especially when we aren’t?
- What steps can we take – should we take – to be more attentive and encouraging to others at our workplaces, especially when we have more opportunities to interact face to face rather than over a computer or smartphone screen? How can we maintain a right balance between our job responsibilities and being supportive to those with whom we work?
NOTE: If you have a Bible and would like to read more, consider the following passages: Matthew 5:1-9; 1 Corinthians 15:58; 2 Corinthians 1:5-11; Galatians 6:9-10; Philippians 1:3-8
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